me: *has three meals one day, as a neurotypical should do*
my disorded ass brain: u can’t do that
me: damn u right
Yesterday I ate:
3 strawberries
Approx 150 cal of watermelon
Shirataki Boca patty pad Thai (approx 400 cal)
And that is where I should have stopped.
THEN MY FAT ASS ATE:
3 2-inch chocolate chip cookies (600cal?)
A mini ice cream sandwich (170 cal?)
3 tbsp of peanut butter (100 cal?)
2/3 of a granny smith apple (100 cal?)
And a generous serving of popcorn
At like 10:30 at night. I should have just gone to sleep instead. I’m so fucking stupid. I went to bed feeling like a failure and I woke up hating myself. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.
I just want to be thin.
I wish crying burned more calories
I haven’t gone to the gym in at least a month. I have been bingeing like crazy. And I absolutely hate myself. Its always the same every time. I binge and lay around on my fat ass. I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself. I finally snap and start restricting. I starve myself and hate myself and hate myself and hate myself. Then I lose weight. Then someone get worried and advocates for my recovery. Then I binge and lay around on my fat ass.
I HATE MYSELF!
I can’t feel satisfied when I eat. Fuck everything. I haven’t weighed myself. I think if I did I would just cry all day. I can see the gain I dont have to read the number. I’m just going to spare myself.
The only thing to do is get back up and start again before in back to where I began. I can’t weigh over 200 again. I dont even want to be where I’m at. Just 40 more pounds… I can do it. Fasting today. Fuck anyone who tries to make me eat even a bite of anything. My body my choice. Fuck off.
Well, today marks the first time in what feels like forever that I actually hated my fucking fat ass enough to cut myself. I don’t even feel better. Still fat. Always fat. No I just feel stupid too. Wow, me. Great job.
And all day I have been planning to go to the gym and now I don’t really want to now. But I’m going to. Because I will fuck my metabolism if I keep farsing through the night. And if I eat and don’t exercise I’m going to feel like shit. So I guess this is me… saying to me… “Stop being lazy and go to the gym fat ass. Going tomorrow is not as good as going today AND tomorrow. What the fuck is wrong with you. This is why you are a cow.”
me: *has three meals one day, as a neurotypical should do*
my disorded ass brain: u can’t do that
me: damn u right
Imagine life as it is now
…but you’re thinner… and you can twirl around in that new pastel coloured short skirt you may have wanted, maybe wear some nice skinny jeans with rock-ass boots? Crop tops anyone? No more sleeves during the dreaded summer? Imagine that…
Well heck yeah that can happen, y'all just need to cut out junk and drink hella water. Excercise!!! Get active, keep moving! Don’t just lay there eating food that you don’t need! Do something with your life so that you don’t regret later on.
🌼Stay healthy and stay hydrated.🌺
-Rad 🎀
Get that shit. You dont HAVE to be miserable to lose weight. Find things you enjoy doing.
Play. Play. Play.
thefloridianveganlife submitted:
Left: 250
Right: 204
Current weight: 199.6
Goal weight: 175
Height: 5'9
Losing weight have always been my first love but with depression, 2 miscarriages and death in my family I shot back up to 250. I couldn’t stand to be that person anymore so I tied up my shoe strings and continued to kick ass every single day. Gave up meat a year ago and now I’ve been vegan since November 2016. I got a long way to go to my ultimate goal weigh of 140lbs but I’m going to still tie up my sneakers and kick ass!
